About this picture. The one with the long yellow hair is Scott Leonard, high tenor; above him facing out with dimples, beard, and grey shirt is Elliott Kerman, baritone kinda guy; in back is Jeff Thacher, vocal percussion; the intimidating guy in sleeveless yellow is Barry Carl, deity-bass; so that leaves Kevin Wright in the blue on the bottom right, lead tenor. The red t-shirt says "If Only I'd Run Faster!" and features Rincewind and the Luggage as the gopher t-shirt from the first Discworld convention and represents my entry for "Best use of Discworld clothing in a strange place," but the contest was never judged so oh well. But I tried, and you're my witnesses. And yes, they were singing "Pretty Woman." Don't ask me why. (No wait that's Billy Joel.)

I play favourites. Rockapella's primer album is the first one you need to buy.

This album I don't yet own. I'm going to have to buy my own copy, instead of living off the borrowed snatches from my sister. I let her borrow my SeanDEMOnium so she doesn't suffer too much. So I must review from memory and my own personal mix tape from it that I use to get other people hooked.

"Falling Over You" is not my favourite Rockapella song, but that doesn't mean much. It's still brilliant. For some reason the style reminds me of the old Electric Company. It's funky. But I don't have this version here, so on to the next song.

"Have Faith." If these guys could just calm down... </sarcasm> They're so laid back. The two-man rhythm section is amazingly cool-- Barry and Jeff. The round-like section shows you can too have a break down in an a capella song, and how much fun it can be. It's also got a very bluesy ending and while I don't like blues that much as a rule, this is cool.

"For the Love" When I first started writing this, I had no memory of this song at all. Then I re-read the lyrics, and I do remember it. I never listened to the words, and I kind of wish now I never had. This is a dark, scary, bitter song. It has a good sound, but the lyrics are a bit disturbing. Sean's imagery is all his own, literally vivid as Dante's Hell, and probably best experienced from behind a few layers of emotional scar tissue. This song is a classic example.

"Nowhere" Have I mentioned that Barry Carl is a deity-bass? Ah, good. This guy could replace any string bass in any blues trio anywhere. No other a capella bass singer can touch him. His accuracy is inhuman, and his sound is perfect. Really. There is absolutely no improvement you could make on this voice. I've heard other basses complain about their parts are boring, what do they care since they never get to sing the words, etc. Barry is an example of why basses shouldn't be bothered with things like that. I can't tell by listening, but I'm sure it must take some effort to sound that good. Surely every bit of his concentration is taken up by that tone control and production and style. It's very difficult to notice his contribution because he blends so smoothly. It's like trying to hear someone else's heartbeat while you talk to 'em.

But yeah, this song isn't just a bass solo. It just starts with him. This is film noir a capella. The video would be in black and white. There's no attempt made to add a saxophone sound to it, but if you try to remember it later, you'll hear one. And Scott Leonard shows off his very-show-off-able voice with a range that doesn't end. My main objection is that while he gets the style exactly perfect, I can't understand what he's saying half the time. I listen to music for the lyrics most of the time, and I can hear just enough of these to be interested, but he doesn't sell them well. Which is strange, since he wrote it. Still, when he goes up for the high note, we will all bow down. He can't help being good.

"Fliptop Twister" If you can find someone currently writing lyrics this good and it isn't Sean Altman, avert your eyes and remove your sandals for you are standing on holy ground. This is virtuosity, Paganini with words. And you understand every last one. Plus Sean has a voice any female, as Kira Sedgwick says, would fall in love with. This is warm, friendly, beautiful, flexible singing on a very bitter calypso song. What the hell was he thinking? That combination will never work. But no one told them to screw up. "I was a sucker for the pick up, the stick up, and every saucy hiccup, the full-mouthed mongrel of love" is great, but it's right before my favourite bit: "I think it suits me-- Australian ostrich boots. I think it suits you-- a diamond ring. Hey, I think it suited the man who said so much so fast to steal away with every last damned thing." And the phrase "before the one-armed bandits and the eight-armed sandwiches of knuckles in a black leather glove" is flamboyantly extravagent, but when you've got talent like that you can afford to be generous, I guess. This song is also a great example of how the lyrics and the arrangement are both used to give you a rhythm-- you have to do that, in a capella. And I don't have any idea how he makes some of those noises in his brief instrumental vocal solo. I wouldn't mind so much if he only sang that well, or only wrote that well. It's the fact that he does both that hurts. The ending is particularly brilliant. I mean, who uses a Picardy Third¹ anymore?

"Last Night" is a good song, but I don't have it right here to do blow-by-blow on. It's a little bit syrupy for me, but Rockapella's syrup isn't as bad as your average off-the-shelf syrup. The sugar content may be high, but they add some flavour to it.

"Kingdom of Shy" Elliott Kerman is entirely too cool. He wrote the music, Sean did the lyrics. The tune is great. I like that style. We need more Elliotts. Plus his voice is very endearing and sweet and warm. I kind of get the impression somehow that he lives this song. Maybe not, doesn't matter-- the subject suits his voice.

"Mine is the kingdom of Shy. 
I'm a consequential lonely guy
 And don't try to lend me a smile-- 
 I've got grins piled up to the sky. 
Not too much time for friends, 
My official duties never end.
Wanna break from my throne and fly
From my castle in the kingdom of Shy."

"An eight hour train, she sat next to me.
She told me her name, put her hand on my knee.
The conversation started to deepen. 
I spent it pretendin'  that I was sleepin'."

It sounds so sad, but this is a very happy, up-beat song. Shyness isn't a bad thing. It's just a thing. Some shy people are actually very happy. Just a bit frustrated and at war with the kingdom of Brash.

"Bed of Nails" This song is the absolute opposite of "Kingdom of Shy." I love both, though. This has the funkiest darn beat ever, thanks to the vocal percussion deity known as Jeff Thacher.

There was a time a little while back when electronic drum machines were introduced, and everyone gasped and said "ohh, horrors! That'll put drummers out of business!" Did they? no. Are they still around? yes, both machines and real drummers. Now, though, the real drummers have actual serious competition in the form of vocal percussion, when done by Jeff Thacher and his peers, if he really has any. This has a wildness and passion you can't get from a drum machine, but I still can't believe anyone can actually make these noises this regularly and for so long and keep getting 'em perfect. I have no idea how he does them. Maybe he swallowed a drum set as a young child. And a drummer.

And on the subject of Jeff Thacher, I'd like to make a public apology to him. When I had him sign my CD after a concert, I made the mistake of allowing my lips to part. I babbled, of course. Having seen his website when it was up once-- briefly: every other time I try to get there it's down, and right now it also disables your "back" button, so beware-- where he says something about spitting for a living, I said something like "you sing at least as well as you spit." Needless to say, I would like to apologise for saying the same thing he must have heard sixty-three times earlier that day alone, and anyway, I'm not sure it was true. When they let him sing he sings really great, yeah, but then maybe you haven't heard him spit.

Oh, the rest of the song. The lyrics are funky and clever, when you can hear them-- Scott's doing his usual style-before-intelligibility thing. Although this song has bags of testosterone they use like water balloons. But still...

 "and sooner or later out of the east
Comes a hammer in the hand of a quiet little beast
And each tall nail that dares to reach up into space
Will be pounded, 'n' hammered 'n' slammed down into place.
Bed of nails, every point is painful.
Bed of nails, a thousand points of spite.
Bed of nails, you know the weak it ain't for.
It hurts me just right...

"My Home" is a song I've got a bias against. I love Sean's music, yeah, but I don't actually like the Temptations, and having heard him sing this with them on the Carmen Sandiego soundtrack has me biased. If you like that kind of a capella, you'll love this song, I guess. I don't.

Speaking of the devil, "Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego?" is on here too. No, you're not sick of it, really. And I guess they aren't either. I didn't get to watch the show enough to get tired of it, so I still think this is one of the best examples of Sean Altman's show-off lyrics. The bad news is this song has to start off with the classic a capella intro "one two three FOUR" which makes an appearance elsewhere, at about the same speed, and always confuses me. And that's the biggest complaint I have, really. This version gets to add Jeff Thacher for percussion and he is certainly a new degree of funky on it. Makes me wonder how they lived with it before him.

I couldn't begin to pick favourites in the lyrics from this. "They never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle" may seem painful, but that's because you're not hearing them sing it. "She's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize. She'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China... Steal their Seoul in South Korea...from the Red Sea to Greenland, they'll be singin' the blues..." The whole song is either pun or tongue-twister. One of them would be bad, but Sean's lyrics do not stop or pause for breath. It's overwhelming, brilliant, and really someone should tell him he's a genius. I think, though, my favourite is stil the sequence, "ransack Pakistan and run a scam in Scandinavia, then she'll stick 'em up Down Under and go pick-pocket Perth. She put the Miss in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima..." It took me weeks of steady practice to get that out without getting my tongue tangled. I wonder if the rest of the group hates him...

The other advantage with this version is the break down in the middle. They stick in all the classic quick bits from the show-- "the warrant," "ooo, the chase..." "butterfingers slip" and my personal favourite that I doubt was on the show, "Monday through Friday at five!" The sense of humour these guys have lets them get away with anything. But then you're not going to argue with anyone who growls like Sean does, anyway. And this version has an end, which they never had on the show.

"Come My Way" gives everybody a chance to relax for a while. It's still got incredible lyrics, and Sean's voice really is one you'd follow anywhere just so long as he kept singing.

If you're down I'll convert you with a missionary zeal
 And guard your heart with a mercenary cool
 And if you're drained I will fill you up with my love until you know
 The glory of an other-worldly fool

And if you come, I will dream you to imaginary high
 And if you hope, you'll awake to find it real life
 But if you run I will spurn you, if you turn love will burn you
 And you'll never know the story of these arms

Gift o' the gab but the Bible warns o' the bad taste in my mouth o' talkin' in tongues
 Blow to the head at the bar-room brawl gonna leave me peelin' myself right  off the wall
 Bow to the bobbin'-headed icon bleed my mind down my brain to a crawl

As for the butter fixation-- melt, draw, and drink butter-- on Sean's site he says he's a condiment addict. I suppose it makes sense to him. Why it's in the song, though, I don't know.

This is a song about an island. A big, hot, smelly, broke island. This song called "Zombie Jamboree". This is the song you buy the album for. This song you crank in your car with your windows open, and even the grandma in the car next to you won't argue because she liked it when the Kingston Trio did it. But then she won't know Sean's new lyrics.

This song originally had the singer getting hit on by a Zombie, "can you see me with a zombie for a wife?" Yes, was the answer. And they had "back to back, belly to belly. I don't give a damn 'cause I done that already," I think it is. Sean's version is "I don't give a damn 'cause I'm stone-dead already." Plus he's just telling the story of a party the zombies had. And he's got a new verse that's definitely not in the Kingston Trio version.

Oh what a zombie jamboree,
From Times Square to the Statue of Liberty.
Uptown, downtown zombie jamboree...
There's a high-wire zombie 'tween the World Trades,
A King Kong zombie on the Empire State,
But the biggest zombies, Tokyo to Rome:
The zombies who call the city "home."

"Sixty-Minute Man" I know I said Barry's a deity, but I don't like this one. It's an older a capella sound that I've never gotten into. And it doesn't sound like it really suits his voice, somehow. I guess when you've got a voice as huge as his, singing like this sounds constrained. Maybe it's just too high for him. I don't know...

"Long Cool Woman In a Black Dress" is amazing. Sadly I don't have it on my tape. Tapes are finite in length, damn them. Scott shows off a killer voice once again, and he is really suited to this song. Er, his voice is, that means. In true tenor fashion, he starts off by showing he does have lungs in his legs. I always find that disturbing, but it's the only explanation for his wails... The arrangement is decidedly cool. These guys really make holding still impossible... I don't know what the back-up singers are singing, but it's perfect. Someone needs to make a list of back-up lyrics. "Ba-hooma mop schip schip" or whatever it is has got to be way up there in terms of creativity and suitability. I've got most of the first verse, then my tape failed me. Wah!

"Pretty Woman" Okay, okay, so I'm biased. I never used to like the song, funny enough. I always resented it because it was one of those songs someone else was always saying her boyfriend sang to her. But after getting dragged up on stage, I am now a fan of this version. If I'd known what they were doing to me, I might have struggled. Ah well. Next time.

The great thing about this is the extra words in their arrangement. I think it's a Rockapella trademark to add extra clever lyrics whether a song needs them or not. Of course when it was sung at me, it wasn't Sean Altman, or quite possibly I wouldn't have left the stage afterwards. Barry seems to be earning about four people's salaries on this too.

"Shambala" is a great closing song. I'm not sure what's going on on the lower end of it-- there seem to be two Barries down there. The more the merrier, obviously. It's gorgeous. I think there's at least seven voices here somehow, but they aren't multi-tracking, I don't think. I think their voices just expand when they want 'em to. This is a song to eat with a fork. And once again, Jeff Thacher is not to be touched. Ok, fondling is allowed... And in fact every last one of them ought to be fondled during this one. How can they have a song that's a showcase for all of them this clearly??

I have only one of their CDs, called, surprisingly, Rockapella. They have an awful lot of albums out there with similar names but those are mostly in Japan and if you're hesitating over which I mean, this is the $15 or so one. Not the $30 or so one.

If you're already a Rockapella fan, then you know some or maybe most of these songs. The first, "Lift Up", has been heard before. This version is smoother, more jazzy (I think-- I haven't spent much time on any other version I've heard, due to limited resources), as is most of their album. I do know the electronic clapping is kind of distracting, but Jeff Thacher must have been limping for a few months after this bout of vocal percussion.

"So Much Better" has some different new chords. There's a really nasal sound to the lead singing that I'm not a big fan of. It's a very desultory approach. I'm not a particular fan of Scott Leonard's lyrics, either. He's definitely got a knack for capturing certain sounds and styles, but he sacrifices meaning. You get the feeling he's saying something, but when you actually look at some of his lines, it's sponge cake: Looks big, seems to be something there, but it's a lot of air pockets held together with nothing terribly memorable. It still leaves an over-all impression though; even sponge cake can come in different shapes.

"Ellie My Love" starts out with "mm, mm-ah, mm, ah, mm-ah," and repeat, in a funky way that you don't think to argue with. "Oh, it's one of those songs," you'll think. But it isn't really. You expect pretentious funk if you think too much about that opening. But this is Rockapella. If they do a sound, any sound, they succeed in selling it 99 times out of 100. Maybe more. Anyway, the lead singing on this, I don't know-- is it Scott? I think it has to be. This is one of those rare times where he just sings for the most part, and he has a seriously beautiful voice with equally beautiful control. The downside is this song is very definitely Top Forty Pop sounding. The chords aren't as interesting and the form is very Standard. But hey, guess what? Nobody from Rockapella wrote it. And anyway it was originally Japanese. They picked it up there. And why do I have the feeling the original wasn't quite this cool?

"I Am Your Man"-- by now I'm getting the hang of this new Rockapella sound. It's a lot smoother and jazzier, like they suddenly decided they wanted to get taken more seriously by some critic or something. It's a definite change from earlier albums, I'm guessing. Maybe it's an adjustment from adding the vocal percussion so now they're happier just playing with all the notes they can sing now without worrying about "who's covering rhythm?" This one is very hands-in-pockets, relaxed... if this is my man, he's awfully cocky about it. But of course it sounds good anyway.

"On the Last Night" is one of my favourites of the classic Rockapella songs. Again, the rhythm in this version is smoothed out in the voice parts, leaving Jeff to control the funk. And he is a funky little drummer, it must be said. The electronic clapping does NOT work. Taking out the "bum bum ba dum"s in the release really doesn't work for me, nor does the fade-out ending, even if it is that kind of song-- when you're talking about not wanting to end, the fade-out ending is almost a reflex. That doesn't negate the fact it's a cop-out.

"I'll Hear Your Voice" is a rare slow ballad date-song from these guys. Mushy, yes. It's completely new to me. It's got the same "oh no they're not going Top Forty on us are they?" scary feeling, but not as much. Until you hit the key change. Please! This is Rockapella! They don't need a key change to keep us interested! No! Please! So much for denial. It's still more interesting than anything you're likely to hear on the radio, but if you let yourself think about All-4-One too much during it, you'll probably start shaking. The edge seems suddenly so near...

"Have Faith," and I do. What's the point of slopping up the words "ain't your" in the beginning? Stick in "Have faith" right before "believe in you, believe in me; the world, it ai'schor enemy" and feel sure no one will mistake it for another recording of it? If you have to do that to make the distinction, the problem is a bit deeper than that. And really, come on, they don't need that. This version's a touch slower, which seems to fit. It's lazier, which suits the point of the song. And this is one of the songs where in spite of the lyrics put in for sound only-- "me is where you need to be," "the world, it ain't your enemy"-- there is actually a point to it, an over all meaning. The "time, won't you take a little time I know" bits are a bit lighter, more girlie. To balance that, there's some mighty fearsome growls from the bass-- I assume it's Barry. I say let the guys be guys and keep the growls anyway, though... And is it just me, is it new, or is he saying "You ain't really livin' when you live love by the text"? Love and not life? Mixes the messages just a touch, there. Although I like the part right after "till the wheelin'-dealin's done", just a bit funkier. The round part at the end is cut, sadly. With another fade-out. Are these guys now really trying to be Pop? Please no...

"Don't Tell Me You Do" is the best Scott's done in terms of coherent meaning in his lyrics. Again, this one's new to me. He's captured a definite, er, feeling here. Yes, some of us do know how this feels or what a heck of a failure this song would be, and sarcasm like that mixes well with the bitterness here. But the lyrics aren't particularly clever in terms of sound. And again the guys veer toward the All-4-One sound. Don't tell me you weren't warned.

"Song 9". I can't decide if this starts out with ducks quacking or maybe pigs quacking. Or ducks grunting. It's very silly though, very clever, very fun. And you have to like the first lines: "You, you never do the girlfriend thing. Me, I never care to chase. We, we never seem to notice much. Please, just kiss me on the face." This is the most fun on this album, and the most like Rockapella. I can't figure out if that's them whistling, or if it's birds on a repeat loop... I'm sure it's repeat loop. And once again the electronic clapping appears. Argh. But actually, this song is clever and fun and cool and classic and did I mention it's fun? This song controls itself. This is really good song writing. Silly ending.

"Why" has several distinct disadvantages-- it's new to me, it isn't written by Rockapella, it's stuck between my two favourite songs on the album, and I'm losing patience for listening. It has a fairly funky arrangement I think, but that may just be compared to the rest of this album. or maybe I've gotten used to this album's sound and style.

"Bed of Nails" is another remake of one of my favourites. It takes out the triplet rhythm I liked on Primer, and tries to fob me off with an electronic clap? I am NOT impressed. Still, this is really good Rockapella music and there's not much these guys can do to ruin it. They've still got Barry the deity as bass, even if there is a lot of bright, spread sound in the top voices these days. Scott leaves out the long impressive melisma he put in the middle last time, which is hugely disappointing to me. The words are still fun and sound great. The ending comes a bit too fast and sudden, with the annoying clapping sticking there to the bitter end.

"Change In My Life" is a Rockapella classic, written by Billy Strauss. Their new lead tenor finally makes a clear appearance on this one. The background for the most part sounds like Rockapella finally on this last song. I think I need to hear more of Scott back there. He's good up front, but my ear needs him in the back. The new lead tenor, Kevin Wright does have a good voice. It's friendly. But it's very young and happy sounding. It's, well, cute. It isn't as big as Scott's, and nowhere near as big as Sean's. Yes, the inevitable comparison complete with admission of bias. He does have a nice voice, but it just is cute. He sounds like a teen-idol. It's a rather bright and high sound to put in with Scott Leonard and claim is a lead. They seem interchangeable.

Over all, this is a good album. If you like a capella, yes, you should get it. I'm biased, as I'm sure is common yet these days. Sean Altman left the group fairly recently, when you realise he started it and was a very clear leader the whole time he was in it. The very clear change in style is kind of sad, because Rockapella was always a favourite of mine because of their pyrotechnic approach to lyrics, and a very original style of arranging. This album is still some of the best voices and talent in the business by several miles of vocal cords, but they're starting to sound like other groups. They of course sound good even so, but that means there's no one out there sounding like Rockapella anymore, and I really have to say that's not a good thing.

Local boys, relatively speaking. No, they are not named Toxic Soulfood, Sonic Tofu, or whatever else you may have heard. They're only called these things. And not all the time.

Their first album wasn't perfect, but was pretty darned good. The second one is better.

I've only got their single, "I Am in Love with the McDonald's Girl", which is a very silly song but sadly these guys tend to over-produce. They sound much better when they stick to completely a capella stuff. Which is saying a fair bit, as they sound quite good when they go accompanied, as well. They are also very much like Tonic Sol-Fa-- if you like one group, you'll like the other. The Blenders are a bit more mature and rely less on comedy, but it's a close race. They seem a bit more confident about getting serious for a little while.

A relative newcomer to the scene... Get real. This is THE Rockapella guy, no offense to any of the other gods in that group. This is the one everyone means and now can no longer refer to as "that guy with the dreadlocks," as he has (in his own words) "hacked off [his] hippie hair." Woe is us. But he kept the voice. Yay for us.

About his solo album, SeanDEMOnium, two words: BUY IT. Or just admit right now you have no taste in good singing or a capella music and never hope to have any, because it's the sad truth. If you do not like this album, you will have to work mighty hard indeed to come up with an acceptable excuse.

Mail me. Go home.