I'll put stuff in as I come up with it. So far, we have a complaint about Valentine's Day. This is relatively minor considering the many things that could be said against this most pernicious and foul of days. Valentine's Day is now out of season, but still, look at what the candy hearts are saying now. Please notice, I did not touch up this photo. And these aren't even from the bags labelled "cyberspeak" or whatever it is. Yes, that's right, a whole bag full of such comments as "Be My Pixel," forever etched in sugar. At least they taste better than the ones that seem to be actually printed with a dot-matrix printer. I wish I was kidding.

Then we have a big lull, until you get to, yes, Christmas. Oh, the fodder...

Here's the obligatory thing I wrote, which I have not titled as yet. I do have a sort of a titular quote, for it, though:

Good people all, this Christmastide,
Consider well, and bear in mind
What our good God for us has done
In moving furniture by the tonne.

And yes, I did use a bit of non-American spelling there, since let's face it, the Wexford Carol isn't American. It's Irish. So ner. Of course, they shouldn't use English spellings for it, then, but you go argue it with them.

And speaking of Ireland, let's nip over to Trinity College in Dublin and see what those lovely lads are up to while they celebrate the season. Pay special attention to the Cthulhumas carols. Many thanks to the gratuitously divine Colm Buckley for pointing this one out to me, and for singing chunks of them at me with great feeling.

And next we have a little bit from Walt Kelly, because he's got some of my favourite Christmas stuff. And most kids these days don't even know there are Classic Comic Strips like Pogo and Krazy Kat.

Meanwhile, I'm going to have to provide a translation guide for the English and Merkins. (If you don't know what a merkin is, you probably are one. These days it is used primarily to refer to Americans, because of the distinctive redneck personality and stereotyped pronunciation. A few years back, however, "merkin" meant something a bit different. You can go and look up that definition yourself, if you've got a decent dictionary.) In "Merka," Christmas - excuse me, The Holidays - is perpetrated in a different style from the way it is in England. Since the English don't realise this, being too clever to come visit and find this out, I shall explain.